Enjoying your relationship and marriage with another mentality.
By Da-Silva Johnson Esq
Marriage is one of the most desired amongst adults but many homes are in shamble. Many homes are in disarrayed. Many are living together unhappy. Even those who says ‘I am happily married’ are lying to themselves. Only few people who have been specially endowed with grace are enjoying an excellent home despite all the huddles before them daily. The eyes of many wives are full of tears with the heart of regrets for marrying the man they married and many husbands are dying in silence because of the type of wife they married. Many a times in our society, men are blamed and crucified for maltreating their wives but not many people know that many husbands are humans too and could be heart broken due to the wife they married.
I have seen very quiet women been so troublesome at home and causing pain without her voice been heard outside. I have seen very complicated women whose troubles are unending and making husbands miserable and without direction. Some husbands are great outside and in the eyes of the public but dangerous and terrorist at home. Most times, many married couple admire and desire other people apart from their partners. The wife is eyeing and wishing to be possessed of another man out there and the husband is eyeing and wishing to possess another lady out there. Little do they know that if they acquire the other person they feel is better than theirs and they stay together for the same duration they have been in marriage and without adjusting many things, the relationship would not be different from the one they now discovered wrong and treat with disdain. In this issue of having hot homes void of 24hrs peace, christian homes are not in exception, Muslim homes are not excluded and even the clergies are not spared. Everyone has an unpleasant things to complain about. Let me share my thought with you and I do hope it would help? It is the need to apply the professionalism mentality in dealing with our spouses. Yes, husband can begin to treat wife with professional approach and wife can begin to relate with husband professionally. Let’s use banking sector as an example. The following are practicable in our homes.
1. Pleasant Appearance. Looking good to fit the environment are daily practice of bankers. They are trained to appear neat and cooperate per day and not otherwise. Wives and husbands are to apply this method. Dressing for each other and not the public. Looking good for the home just like a banker looks good for the business of the day. The law of attractiveness play a vital role in happiness and likeness.
2. Warmness. They welcome their customers warmly. You hear the staff greeting their customers first and not waiting to be greeted first, “good morning sir/ma” as the case may be. But some wives don’t say good morning and some won’t put sir or ma, simply because they are marry. If you cannot use sir or ma, what happened to honey, sweetheart etc, and with much more respect? Some husband would answer their wife greetings shabbily simply because he feels he is in charge. Marriage does not terminate respect but demands respect and honour.
3. Attention. Staff gives attention to their customers. They sometimes get busy with no time to eat or drink. Attention comes before ascension. Give attention to your wife or husband. Not social media or strangers. Give attention. Women loves attention and men hates neglect. There wife or husband, apply this mentality and it can save your marriage.
4. Respect. That you are married should attract more respect and not terminate it. Sir cannot disappear from your lips towards your husband. Honour your wife and not dishonour. Those respect keep you going back to the bank, if you give it and get it at home, I know you will always want to be home. Staff speak nicely and sometimes even when you provoke them they calmly accept and behave with the mentality that customers are always right. Why not see it that way that husbands or wives are always right. If you can insult a customer, why should you insult your wife. If you can’t hurt your customers, why should you derive joy in hurting your husband. The highest honour you can bestow on your spouse start with respect. Respect him or her as a person. Respect what he or she value. Etc.
5. Satisfaction. Staff takes customers satisfaction as a priority. Take the satisfaction of your spouse as a priority. Satisfy him or her materially, physical presence, sexually, etc. The partner should know anyway that human needs are insatiable so, contentment is a great gain. But, it is wiser to try our best.
6. Comfort. When you enter the bank , you notice the amenities provided. Very clean place, well arranged furniture’s and electronics, provision of drinkable water, television etc. All these are to ensure the comfort of the staff, customers and stakeholders. Same way we should mind the comfort of our selves. Not to be selfish but lovingly considerate. Cooking timely, keeping the home clean and tidy, etc are effort L’s we should apply daily. It is a mentality of professionals.
7. Approach. The way staff approaches with manner, the home front needs it to remain together with happiness. It takes risk to be rude at work. It should be wrong too to be rude at home. If you can’t talk to your boss or customers the way you like, what audacity do we have to speak rudely to the partner we claim to love. It is unprofessional.
8. Income/Benefits. Staff does these things because their income depends on it. They also get some stipends from customers for treating them well. Same way husband, you can reward your wife for been a good wife and instead of been ungrateful. Wife, you can reward your husband for been a good husband with extra attention and appreciation instead of taking him for granted.
9. Apology. Do you know professional apologises when there are offences recorded against them. Even when they are not responsible for your delay, they still explain and apologise. Why can’t we be a little patient with our spouses. That is your first customer. You can’t be too big to say I am sorry. Your salary might not depend on it but your entire life depend on it. Sir, I am sorry would not trouble your home or destroy your ego, it will attract you honour. Madam, I am sorry is a sign of submissiveness not weakness.
10. Conviction. Staff try to convince their customers to patronize and remain their customers. Wife, its your duty to convince your husband that you want your relationship to work. Husband, let your wife know that you still love her and want her just Luke the way you made her leave others for you.
Most of the staff here are trained and told how to behave and relate with costumers. If they mess up, they are disciplined or fired. In our homes, we fire our selves out of peace, joy , blessings, progress and even marriage due to these little things that are too big for us to handle. Help your marriage. Become a professional trained by experience, knowledge and the holy book. You will enjoy your home better. Your relationship might just function better if you can try this new mentality. Till I write you again but don’t forget to drop your thought on this post in our mail box. Thanks for reading.